This is a feeling that happens when the two people bring their needs out-front and passion flows. When a couple discovers each other’s needs, she or he serves the other person spontaneously without expecting to be paid back. Couples do their best to understand and serve each other. They understand how to give pleasure and support. Love is then unconditional, without conditions. Nothing is necessary to express your love, you just have to manifest it. When a relationship is based on trust, a couple can express themselves in the most wonderful ways in the world and if these fundamentals are solid, they can support each other to get ahead in difficult times.
Erich Fromm, psychologist and couple specialist, says that love is an art and a voluntary action that is undertaken and learned, not a passion that is imposed against the will of the person who lives it. Love is, thus, decision, choice and attitude. According to Fromm, most people identify love with a pleasant feeling. He considers it an art that requires effort and knowledge. From their point of view, most people make the mistake of thinking that there is nothing to learn about love, motivated, among other things, by considering that the main objective is to be loved and not to love, so they come to value superficial aspects such as success, power or attractiveness which cause confusion during the initial stage of the alleged infatuation, but stop to be influential when people get to know each other, and the magic of the initial mystery is lost. Therefore, when dealing with love it’s recommended to proceed in the same way you would when learning any other art.
Love is an organic state of mind that grows or decreases depending on how that feeling is fed into the relationship of those who make up the love core. Feedback depends on factors such as the behavior of the loved one, their involuntary attributes, or the particular needs of the person they love (sexual desire, company, unconscious will for social ascension, constant aspiration for completeness, etc.).
Loving as “art” means that the use of creativity, practice, trial and error, is in me and in my partner; it is knowing that is perfected or improved through constant habit and at the same time, through change and innovation depending on the decision to love and be loved. The attitude towards the relationship is as important as the attitude towards life. It is a choice: to pick the person who will accompany you as a couple.
